Family Estrangement and Grief

When I started working with Shelley, I was struggling to manage my emotions; my mother had recently passed, and my relationship with my adult children was difficult.

Working with Shelley gave me the freedom to finally express and release the trauma of my childhood. I was able to reconnect with and acknowledge my brother, who died when we were teenagers, and to understand and let go of the guilt I'd carried as an adult for events that happened in childhood, which were never my responsibility. I've come to terms with my relationship with my adult children, and Shelley used different methods to help me find a place where I felt at peace and safe.

I’m doing well since we finished our work. I've carried on the relationship with my brother in my own way. It's no longer painful, still sad, but I have acceptance now. I still think of my mother most days, I can hear her voice, dismissing me or berating me, but now I answer her back. Day to day, I feel so much more confident in myself, and I'm becoming very honest about what I think, without the fear that people won't like me or will punish me for it. I avoid situations and people that make me uncomfortable, and I don't feel bad about that anymore. I've definitely learnt self-preservation, and the need to protect myself from situations I may find difficult. It's work in progress, and will be for a while, but it's becoming more of a reflex. And I'm not ashamed of who I am, or what made me this person.

Therapy is like opening a door to your innermost feelings, in an environment where you feel safe. Walking through that door can be emotional and difficult. But ultimately, it can be incredibly liberating, incredibly empowering, allowing you to embrace, accept, and acknowledge your worth, to yourself and to others.